A Reprise

You are Mackerelly!! You feel obligated to create new words just to define yourself as different... I mean diff-tacular. Just remember... ORIGINAL doesn't necessarily mean GOOD. What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you? brought to you by

So I decided to come sit outside and freeze and be with nature. God I love this weather. It's killing me; I've been out 30 sec and already my fingers and toes are numb. I've always found it physically painful to be cold, but there are some things that are more important than the absence of pain. That, then, is what it means to really be a human being... to know that there is more good than just the absence of pain... that some things are so grand that pain is miniscule and laughable in compare. That is what makes each of us more than an animal. The trees are bare and somehow their barrenness is better to me than all the green leaves of spring. The mournful wail of this incessant wind is thrilling; and the air smells so good. I could not live anywhere but here; oh God, help me, I can't help but become attached to wherever I am, even our small apartment, especially our small apartment. All the things I love are so close to me here that I would feel desolate in a larger pl...

I am listening to my "Very Best of Chopin" CD which has long been usurped for "Nocturnes," but now my CD player is broken and will only play certain (probably expensive) CD's, so I am hearing this one for the first time in years. It is this indelible ache when I hear "Prelude in D-flat Minor;" remembering listening to it over and over again in my Granada... in my old CD player... looking out at the bluebonnets and goatweed and just... feeling . I had no idea then that such times are finite, that someday I would have none of those things, that I would have to start all over again. And I didn't know I even could. I didn't know someday I wouldn't have Gregory; or that home; I had no clue I would have a nicer car, but I didn't care, then; I could play the piano then. I could thrill myself with my own music then. How I want to play now. I die to play now, and I can't, really. There's Nathan's keyboard, but I never know how to mak...