A Reprise

Here's my first ecto post... we'll see how this goes. I have been trying to find an offline editor for ages since I got the Mac. Well I read another interesting thing in The Fourth Turning : apparently what our vision of the future can define our generation. The book goes back over the kinds of futuristic movies that were made at the turn of the century all the way up to now. Sometimes these movies present a marvelous space-age world, and sometimes a dystopic post-apocalyptic wasteland. I think it's fascinating that our vision of the future hundreds of years from now actually reflects the way we feel about our present world. Till I thought about things this way I did not really see the literary value in science fiction. Now it makes science fiction seem really important to me. The Age of the Confessional Self. This is our present literary age which began in the early 60's when the first Gen-X'er's were born. I have been reflecting in my reading, that even ...

I am overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts that have nowhere to go, they chase me and really destroy me and I write, clumsily, more to help myself than to write something good, and I wonder if this means I really am going to be a real writer one day, that the underlying emotions, the sense of life lived completely, is what matters, not the style, history or subject matter. I feel lately like I have opened a door and found another room, sort of like being in a small house and unexpectedly opening the door to a vast ballroom, suddenly I have so much more territory to explore. There is a sense of deep darkness about it, a sense that if someone else really knew how deep and how far my mind travels into this shadowed place they would have me get therapy quickly, there is the sense, like exploring an abandoned building, that I am now trespassing, I am living on borrowed time now. After standing at the fence and staring while I got my nerve up, I finally decided to climb over, half-imagini...

I found this in Half Price Books a few weeks ago, and I felt so upset when I saw it. I thumbed through it and felt, I should have found this when I was a teen, it's not fair -- just not fair-- and I had the feeling Molly has when she sees the Unicorn, "How dare you come to me now? When I am this?" but the unicorn says, "I am here now," in the half-startled, half-cold way that is hers. I bought the book, and I have been reading it and doing the work as time allowed, and I will share some of it when I can.