A Reprise

The marsh

I am sitting by a marsh, breaking my long silence in Winter Light. I asked myself, what could I write that was worth reading? I still do not know, but I write now to record a moment. Darkness has lain heavily on me, but here there is no darkness. I am sitting in winter light-- a cold, clear half-light that can never satisfy. I wonder why I always come here in winter, when it is so brown and dead. I guess I come here in the summer, too, but my feeling of acute longing for the place isn't the same. I will confess my worries to the trees: Health, which always submits to the passage of time. Mortality, so transient. Death, intangible. Purpose, which will drive me to madness. Age, which is only imaginary. Love, which will break me again and again. I don't know-- I don't understand what it is you do. But I am here, and as soon as I find the way to you I will be there. Even though I don't understand anything-- not why life must be this way, why things fall as they do. The wi...

I play what I know of the D scale .

O Tannenbaum Originally uploaded by ladyhildegarde . My little desktop Christmas tree.

Nathan's fire course at Portofino Originally uploaded by ladyhildegarde . Flaming duck. The best restaurant in DFW.

There's no magazine I've ever revered so much as Victoria. Like everything else I treasured in my teenaged years it disappeared around the year 2000. However, I was too distracted with school and other issues even to notice. In fact, I had stopped buying it. In October I found all my old issues at my mother's house and when I started reading them again, the old magic returned to me-- all my dreams of how I would dress and decorate my home "when I grew up." Well, I now know how unfeasible it is to serve my sugar lumps with silver tongs and wear lace-covered blouses everyday, not to mention trying their recipes, which call for things like artichokes and truffles, yet I think my home and person still do a good job in preserving the Romanticism of Victoria. I have a little under two years' worth of Victoria issues. I am going back and re-reading them, on the correct month. Not only can I remember all I felt and all I did at that time, I become overwhelmed with th...