A Reprise

I drive out to the old house at the end of a dirt road. She has seen me from the window. She has put on a kettle of hot water. We will have tea and talk. She opens the door even as I gesture with agitation. "We must talk," I say. "And I, I did not know you would still be here." Josette laughs at me with her green eyes. "Where would I go? You have set me up so comfortably." I study her red apron trimmed in rick rack. I remember that fabric. "I cannot do this without you," I say. "I simply cannot. My judgment is skewed. I have been a fool." "But you are not a fool now," she guesses. "As long as I am this person, I say I am a fool. But on a particular point I have been foolish. If only you had been there. You could have told me better." "No one can tell you anything, madame." "Actually I have been a fool on many points." "As Hokei admonished Hofuku, 'That is enough talking. Let us have a cup...

This afternoon I saw the photographs of Nell Dorr at Amon Carter, which was a boon as I am interested in a feminine and antiquated perspective over the 1950's and 1960's. My energy is now concentrated in this century. After work I came to the museum and walked around. I am possessed with a terrible energy now. I work furiously, and then I can't rest. I want to learn more. I am frantic to understand things and people. My mind never rests. At night, my dreams are frenetic. I feel impotent to express, because I have no understanding. In my world I see work. I see industry. I see people shaped by their experiences and by their innate person. I do not understand why I work, why I desire to work. Is it because I believe in the American value of hard work? What is that value, even? Working hard for its own sake, or working hard for material gain. Is either one a reason for living? What can I learn from my day-to-day life? What meaning can I extrapolate? I also desire to understand...

Remove the impurities from silver, and the sterling will be ready for the silversmith.

Hi~ customer^_^ Let me introduce NEW Glamor Model line - Nayuta Kenzo that have a manly semblance and a delicate body more than 71cm Model doll Male. His delicate muscles and perfect body lines are soooo cool! Glamor Model doll would be a good match for Model doll female. ^^ His masculine beauty is absolutely stunning. - Normal head + assembled body - D Glass Eyes(random) - wig - boxer short - Box, 2 cushions, COA * Tall : 75cm * Circumference of Head : 23cm * Circumference of neck : 12cm * Circumference of chest : 29cm * Circumference of waist : 23cm * Circumference of hips : 27.6cm * Width of shoulders : 16cm * Lenth of \"from hips to ankle\" : 43cm * Lenth of \"from knee to ankle\" : 24cm * Foot size : 10cm * Eye size : 14mm (Diameter) That's pretty huge! Well, I am putting aside the BJD business for a while but not forever. One day I'm going to have a tea master, and we're going to continu...

Is erratic behavior true insanity, or is it a result of not understanding yourself? What is my position on obsession? Is it bad? Can it be good? In my fiction it has always been a subject of dark beauty, stemming with King Haggard's obsession with unicorns in Beagle's The Last Unicorn. However, there are many ill effects to obsession, dramatic and ugly, that I have never communicated in my writing. What is depression? Is it different from melancholy? I was interested in and acted out the subject through my first hero Anton, who rather than being brooding and dark, was actually depressed. But at that time I had never experienced true depression. Are anxiety and depression different sides of the same disorder? Do either of these conditions result from obsession, or does obsession result from these conditions? Emotions and issues to be presented in Red Rose. Understanding of the self. What makes each of us unique? Obedience to authority versus personal ethic. Curiosity about...

Picture from Nathan. Henry uses my tea table for his cave.

I have had her from childhood.

There's something I'm been trying to do lately. Sometimes I get a clue about something I should do. I hear them in the aether, making themselves felt at random times. Sometimes they bother me incessantly, and sometimes I hear the suggestion but once. But I realized that these are a kind of guiding light. I spend so much time feeling lost. If I would just listen to these whispers of suggestion echoing in my mind, then I will do what I should do, and I have become convinced of that. I hope that if I follow these slight suggestions they will become easier to hear, and I will ignore fewer of them. Perhaps then, then I will be on the path of doing what I should do. It has stayed with me what Shunryu Suzuki said. Do something you should do. That is advice for all times and places. But I never know what I should do, on a grander scale. I don't know if that's something I should know or worry about. I don't know.

This article explained some points on which I have been curious, especially with regard to Queen Elizabeth II. The British monarchy, an institution that epitomizes the heritage and long history of its country, has come under increasing criticism in the past decade as an archaic relic badly in need of an overhaul if it is to earn its place in the 21st century. What does the future hold? Will it survive? Royal correspondent Alan Hamilton of The Times of London offers his predictions for the future of the ever-adapting monarchy. The Future of the British Monarchy By Alan Hamilton When Diana, Princess of Wales, tragically died in a car crash in Paris, France, in August 1997, the whole world’s heart missed a beat. The mountains of flowers that piled up at the gates of London’s palaces were an unprecedented sight; many of people thought it medieval, as though the crowd was paying homage to a holy relic. To her huge and adoring public, Diana embodied the all-too-scarce va...

Just when I thought I would not learn the truth of Falkland till the very end of the book, he declared it himself in just the next paragraph. To tell the truth, I feel an unexplained hurt and discord when I reflect on Falkland's character, the setting and the events in the story. I guess that would be called verisimilitude. To experience something so brutally ugly in a human being and recognize it instantly as very possible. That what seems to be true, is true, and as in the story we must trust to what seems right or not right to guide us to the truth about a person. The story has told me so much of what I already know, it hurts sometimes. I understand the story is not about myself or my problems, but it is like a faceted crystal one can turn around in the sunlight. Interactive, reflective, many-faced.

After I returned to Arlington I went to Potbelly and got a PB&J. I could think of nothing I desired more. The climate and slant of light is such that I feel lost and found at the same time, and I sat outside, the only other table occupied by a woman who kept going into and out of the restaurant laboriously, with her walker. As I ate I noticed a female grackel picking her way beneath the tables. I realize that of all creatures the female grackel rouses in me deep feeling. She is brown and ornery and slightly tattered. She does not look or move with the aggression of the male. She is not shy about sharing your table or your food, but she is quiet. In the afternoon rush hour began to accumulate around us. I felt the busyness that Arlington can acquire sometimes. I felt complacent and sheltered because the air was crisp and the right temperature, I was eating as I had for so long wished. I had somewhere to go, but in brief flashes over time, I have felt disembodied and unsure. Like thi...

The wind has blasted all day long. The air has been cool and gray, a pall hanging over the earth, causing my brain to feel pleasantly disengaged. This after the burning heat is so welcome. It is dizzying to think that fall is here. It's nearly a year since my life changed so much. Yet I am entering into its anniversary in the most graceful season.

In Caleb Williams , Falkland is like a Confederate hero in nearly every sense. I feel in sympathy with Caleb. Falkland was a man of high honor and virtue who interested himself in the well-being of others so as to go above and beyond himself in their protection. This incurred the wrath of the man tormenting them, a man who hated him and it cannot be denied that Falkland hated in return. When Falkland attempted to make peace, there was more show than sincerity. His high-handedness was even more instigation for Tyrrell's wrath, and of course Falkland knew this. After Tyrrell's death and Falkland's acquittal of his murder, it is easy to see how little clues of his showiness and high-handedness revealed themselves in the narrative. Another complication in the story is that the narrative was given by Collins, and without knowing Collins' true opinion of Falkland we cannot determine if the story was biased against him. This long narrative was an interesting feature and device...