Have I changed? Or am I merely playacting at this every day, ever pretending and fooling some people into thinking I am mature. Sometimes I wonder who I would be if my life had gone on unperturbed by the afflictions in college that swept away the last of childhood security.
I wish I could say I have stopped thinking of that place but it is more with me than ever. Two nights ago I remembered in detail the contents of my closet. It disquieted me to remember things that have lain undisturbed in my head, really stupid things better forgotten. On the second shelf was Jonah's bird food, my extra pillows and stuffed animals, which I kept out of sight during the day for neatness.
I have not been on the Internet for almost a week now, except this morning when I briefly checked email. I appreciate my reader's comments and will certainly read his journal when I have time for the computer again. I post from phone normally, and go for days at a time without the computer.