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Getting serious

Tonight I'm going to be a little more serious. I have been lazing around the past two evenings, forgetting the goals I made, and that I have some things due at the end of this month.

I am starting a more intense reading system for myself. I realized I will never read these books if I don't make goals. This month I will complete Hamlet and The Tempest. I have loved both for so long, but have never read them straight through.

Next month, my goal is to complete The Siren. That shouldn't be hard considering the story is already wrapping up and I've decided on an ending, bittersweet, in the tradition of Peter S. Beagle.

I have some very lofty goals next year. I am going to complete Finnegans Wake and understand it. I am doing this for myself, not to say I did. I have already seen a lot of beauty in the text and the Modernists sometimes transfix me in ways the Romantics never could. I dreamed of that book last night. I dreamed that after the first few pages it was absolutely readable, and that it was somewhat like The Sound and the Fury, but better. However, I do not expect to understand the story at all. I will read some preparatory texts this year before I start on it in January. There are many, many sites dedicated to Finnegans Wake.

I also had a very frightening dream last night. I looked up into the sky and realized I was actually at the bottom of an enormous cave, with sunlight coming through so that I could scarcely see the ceiling. The more I peered into the sky, the more layers I saw to the ceiling. They were very cracked and fragile, so that light came through, but I was afraid it would cave in, as it seemed about to do. I felt any move I made or sound would send it crashing on me, and I was terrified. Nathan did not seem to care and lingered, so I dashed off till I realized there was nothing but blue sky overhead. I was so happy, but realized Nathan was still under the rock, and waited impatiently for him to join me. There was a mixture of relief and horror-- I did not want to go back beneath that terrifying roof to get him, but he could come away from it any time he liked. I didn't know if I should go back.

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