Skip to main content

This is my song

Nichol entered the shabby parlor with misgivings. It was still difficult to believe that someone as elegant as Hildegarde might live in such deplorable conditions. Perhaps she did not use any of the rooms Nichol had seen, but then, which did she use?

She made a motion to draw back the velvet draperies and let light into the room, but a single pull at the cord, and a course of spiders trickled from the curtain folds. A shiver ran down her spine and she moved backward, not wishing to make greater evil with her tampering. Hildegarde showed no sign of returning from her errand soon and Nichol felt impatient for some distraction from the oppressive quiet.

She spied on a far table an antique phonograph which, despite its apparant age and neglect, was not broken. It was loaded already with a cylinder and Nichol was curious to hear the machine at work. Studied in Victorian technology, she was able to crank the phonograph and put it into operation without risking its destruction, though it appeared quite sturdy and pliable to her directive.

After a pause of crackling interposed with false starts, the cylinder elicited a slow, ponderous melody in a minor key. This, Beethoven's seventh symphony, was something Nichol had claimed for herself long before she learned Lysander loved it. That this might be the cylinder with which he had listened to his favorite music thrilled her to the point that goosebumps went down her arms.

She hugged herself for the sheer need for warmth and closed her eyes as the music's dark beauty washed over her like the chill comfort of starlight. She was so wrapped in aural pleasure that the jounce of the parlor door against the wall shocked her. The movement was so violent that the door vibrated on its hinges as Nichol stared, in dumb shock, at the wild-haired man in the doorway, towering over her like an ungainly devil. As he moved closer, sending her backward with fear, she saw that a slight limp accounted for his unusual posture, but for that there was no doubt of the unfathomable height and breadth of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in German: the words all the more unpleasant for their gutteral nature.

Nichol's eyes narrowed as she saw a bully who meant to intimidate her with brashness. "I am amusing myself with a cylinder till Hildegarde returns."

He swore as he brushed past her and swiftly cut off the music. Nichol's ire rose despite her good sense, which reminded her that the machine was his possession, not hers.

"This instrument is very delicate. You had no right to touch it." His voice shook with unexplainable agitation.

"It seemed sturdy enough under my hand," Nichol responded impatiently, despite reason. "I am knowledgeable with these machines, and if I had thought that my actions would harm it, I would never have wound it and set it."

"Knowledgeable?" He sneered at her, a hulking devil in the shadows of the parlor. "Who the hell are you?"

"Nichol Durand. I am here on business with Hildegarde Engel." As she spoke, she moved to the draperies and pulled them apart sharply. Light broke through spiderwebs and dust motes, flooding the velvet room in white. Nichol turned to the man, expecting him to cover his face in horror, or shriek at her, for the fact of some supernatural curse, but he merely looked at her.

For the first time she saw his face, which was not credited by his large, ungainly form. His eyes were pale as glass, like a cat's eyes, and his bright hair surrounded a face blanched and chiseled as a statue's, gracefully carved as though by a loving sculptor. His beauty was so unexpected that Nichol stared at him openly, almost unaware that he was surveying her with the same meticulous detail.

She had forgotten her shabby dress, her skirt and threadbare sweater which might have been fashionable for its thrift-store appearance, if not for its apparant authenticity and the lack of Bohemian grace with which she wore it. Her ash hair was looped sloppily behind her head, and her glasses, crooked, exemplified her large gray eyes.

There was nothing to provoke reaction in her dowdy look, but his eyes widened and his mouth curled derisively as he looked at her. His hands clenched into fists and he swore wildly, then tore his gaze from her and lunged through the door, snatching it closed behind him with a disruptive clash that reverberated through the now-silent room. Nichol stared after him with mingled astonishment and disgust.

What an animal he is, she thought derisively.

Sent from Amanda's Treo @-'-,--

Popular posts from this blog

Snow White and the Prince

I dreamed in darkness, cold and alone. Phantasms shifted around me, frightening me, but I was powerless to escape them or even move, as I was sealed in a casket. I thought of the Queen, my Stepmother, and tears dripped from my eyes as I considered the quasi-poignant moments we had once shared, when we might have been considered to be close, when the Queen had nearly been a mother to me, and the face of love had shone radiantly upon me, before eclipsed again by the storms of Venus. I thought of the huntsman, stung to consider that my only friend had been poised to betray me, to kill me, and again in my mind I felt the horror of his shadow, of waiting while he came behind me, knowing there was no escape for me from a death he would inflict. My heart lifted as images of the Prince entered my mind, his grace atop a white-maned horse, always out of my reach, just beyond the words I longed to speak. If only there had been more time for us to fall in love. He might have saved me from those...

Where does it lie

I look out onto the yellow and brown vegetation beneath my window, at the castle-like buildings far away and wonder where do I lie in all of this? There was a time when I was unfettered. This was a time before I entered the working world, before I was independent. My heart was free as a bird when I was in college. I did not know what happiness I experienced in my creativity because I had never known different. In other aspects of my life I knew pain but my stories, sprung up lately from a gothic mist into an immersing Pre-Raphaelite painting, were a richness and the most beautiful thing I had ever known. That the most beautiful thing I knew to exist happened inside of me made me very happy, even though I didn't know it. Now I know the sun is setting, even though I can't see it, because the bank of brown, twisted trees and shrubs is lit gold, like a reflection from a golden chalice. Slowly, slowly it will fade until everything is a homogenous, uncertain gray. This is the nightma...

The day was described as unseasonably warm

The day is so beautiful, but I do not feel beautiful. I feel like a void. The world will not be any more beautiful if I go into the park and enjoy the sunshine. The birds will still sing whether I go or stay, and this person does not seem capable of feeling any kind of happiness. I have been going through old entries, and find the same things I have always found when doing this. I have the same feelings and interests as I always did, I feel the same pressures and struggles as ever. I have been tagging things, but it is a never-ending task. I have nearly 800 posts in this journal alone, to say nothing of paper journals and other notes on the Internet. I thought I would organize my notes because I do not feel capable of imbibing any kind of information or communicating anything of importance. However, I am tired. I did not sleep well last night. It is as though at some point years ago I lost some sleep, and I have been losing it ever since. I have a strange, lost feeling when I thi...