I decided to start going out on my breaks again to recreate a private and creative space for myself, but the storm prevents the very first step of my resolution.
I felt that God was with me last night. After a sleepless and stress-filled night I found that the thunder and lightning were immense and that I should sleep another hour. Despite my stress I did sleep, and I feel better than I would have. I know that God is not in the storm or the fires, but God is the still small voice guiding me to do the right thing with what I have, if I let him.
I did wake with enough rest and strength. I have enough composure to get through the day. And no, it isn't about the wretched house. If I was enough of a spoiled brat to get so deeply distressed about that problem I wouldn't expect anyone, especially God, to care.