A Reprise

Sometimes I love the city. It is strange. When I consider the stillness of the city, the abandoned places, sunlight and shadows in mazes of bleached pavement. Perhaps I love not what it is, but what it could be. That is the basis for my visionary city, Drommende. After thinking it over last night, I decided that I would not revise The Glass House for NaNoWriMo, but instead work on my developing visions and write a new story. Which would not really be new. It always bothers me to see the stories that only got to page 1 or 2. I feel that my characters remain in permanent limbo till the story is done.

For twelve years I have consoled myself with one story. One story that I have written over and over, believed it was my very best work, and that even if nothing ever exceeded it, it would be enough to have written it. It seems that story is an unconscious plaigarism of The King of the Castle. I found a few similarities throughout as I am re-reading the book. Today, I have found too many and feel nauseous. I feel like Helen Keller, who unintentionally plaigarized a story, and swore never again to write fiction, since she could not trust her mind. I remembered nothing of what happened in King of the Castle till I picked it up again. I did not realize the similarities, the identical circumstances. If not The King of the Castle, I can draw a source for almost every detail of my story. It is unoriginal. Why didn't I know till now? I feel like a fool. I know I am not left with nothing, but I feel like so much less of a writer when I think how heavily influenced I am by other works. The

The word "pegasus" is not in the Outlook spell check vocabulary. What is wrong with them?

Nathan in the Zen garden Originally uploaded by ladyhildegarde . Today we are in the Japanese garden, and perhaps later we will go to the Egyptian exhibit. The weather is so cool today. It is alarming how quickly it changed, reminding me how quickly summer went. But now that it's Fall, we can do this more.

Another earnest wish is coming to me: I wish that I could read all the books I saw that I like. I like the really old, tattered obscure kind that I know nothing about. I saw one about living in the Arctic among Eskimos last night, in the clearance section. It amazed me to think that someone would compile years of life in a place and culture about which the rest of the world knows little, and there all six hundred pages lie forgotten, thirty years obsolete. How many lives there are. How many books.

Thai House, dinner. Here's my and Nathan's drinks. He got a Pink Summer, which tastes like bubble gum! The Con was awesome, and I feel newly motivated to pursue my creativity. I'm not letting anything get in my way.

Nature's prints Originally uploaded by ladyhildegarde . I read about this in my Victorian girl's activity book. You press leaves and twigs in ink, then stamp them on pages. This is one of those things I always mean to start in the evening. I have wanted to do this in lieu of a flower press, because flower pressing can turn out badly, and always makes for bulky books. Flower printing is actually pretty easy, and will give me a reason to go to the woods.