A Reprise

I'm not getting smarter or "above" blogging or anything. In one sense my standards are too high, and I avoid posting when I am in a perfectionist mood. I fought that mood this weekend and won. I am sloppy, messy, irresponsible Amanda with the chores not done and I'm even procrastinating getting home. If I am perfectionist I'm not open-minded, and I feel shielded from the sun, always a little cold in shadow. I know in order for me to live I have to let go of keeping it all together. I just try to keep it most together, but my focus is not on cleanliness or order. My focus is on my dreams and my passions. My dreams and my passions for Southeast Asia are so intense. Last night I lay awake picturing the sun-baked pagodas lying in ruin in Pagan, Burma, and I could feel warm wind on my face and this expanse where I was surrounded by ruins untended, and there was no one but me just lying there in the grass. I pictured the sky as warm and sunny, but with deep clouds t

Tea Embassy, Austin, TX , a photo by ladyhildegarde on Flickr. One of my favorite places was featured in this month's Tea Time.

Last night I could not sleep. I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen. Jenny tried to follow me, but she was plainly confused. Eating something at 2 a.m. is not really part of our routine. I ate, and I drank a cup of tea, and I was really awake. I went and read Shirley  for two hours. I realized I am coming really close to the end now. I have enjoyed this novel so thoroughly, but to tell the truth, I am really anxious to start some other novels soon. I have such a long list. Lately I picked up my old American Romantics textbook and became fascinated with James Fenimore Cooper. And I also realized I need to re-read all of the Poe. Shirley  is captivating. Bronte's text thrums with passion. It is not for everyone. Sometimes I wish she would have left off the last couple of sentences explicating a point. Speaking of Bronte! I found my hardbound copy of Jane Eyre . There was only one of them, and it was over a week ago. I was going to buy it today, but I got out of work