Bleah.
Another beautiful day. And I slept through half of it.
(warning, a lot of complaints to follow)
I just sent my Treo blog and was praying it would go through so I could come in and complain. So here I am.
So I'm trying to figure out why I get 8 mB a month web service on my phone, and it's only alotting me 2.5 this month? I guess they're doing it partway and maybe they do the billing at the first of each month, but I should be getting more than that. And I still haven't gotten my pay. Bloody hell, how far behind am I in my pay??? I guess I will have to start keeping records on it and exact my money, since they don't exactly give it to me. *&%#W @$%^# @#$%$!!!!
Why's everyone trying to take everything away from me? I'm just waiting for that phone to ring again so another telemarketer can bother me, but it seems they decide to stop that after I wake up. And I don't know how to turn off the ringer on the bedroom phone. And I don't feel like reconfiguring our house phones because I have no time. *sniffle*
I feel so stressed, and no one understands-- except my cat, who throws up, scratches himself compulsively, and whines at me all the time. He still hasn't adjusted to my shift, needless to say. I want to do things-- I have a ton of sewing projects-- but really, all I feel like doing right now is whining, so here I am.
I haven't written much lately... No one wants to join my gay gothic rpg... No one understands me. Wah.
Admittedly, I'm writing only a little less than usual. I do try to open something up and look at it every day. I can't force myself to write, and I won't do that anymore. I merely open up a story I'm curious to look at and if I feel like adding a little, I do that. It works well enough, and that's how I wrote that "Love from the North" scene.
As for my gay gothic rpg-- barking up the fantasy rpg tree, which is what I've been doing to promote it, isn't going to work-- I'll have to get some new names.
Bleah, have I mentioned that I feel bad? I haven't gotten to work on my bjd's at all-- and at work I feel so stressed and awkward sometimes.
Heh heh heh. I wore pigtails to work yesterday. I'm feeling a little stressed about tipping the boat. I act like I'm in kindergarten again, bothering people. Well, if it was you, you might understand...
On the bright side, the pigtails make my hair look very black and shiny. I guess I won't dye it again for a while, since my never seeing daylight keeps it from lightening. And I feel prouder of myself for being able to grow near-black hair. Having to tell people I dyed it makes me feel like a loser. I should hold onto it all I can, since one of these days I'll be dyeing it till kingdom come. Who cares about being natural? Screw that. I want to be pretty when I'm old.
And HEY!!!! I'm not old yet!!! I don't put money in my 401K!!! I'm not saving up for an SUV!!! My prince and me... we don't give a damn about saving up for a house. We want to go to Japan!!! And living in this shoebox will be good practice. I collect dolls! And I have Disney figures on my Christmas tree!!! So put on your orthopedic shoes, put that in your pipe, and smoke on it in your remote-controlled armchair. I shop in the junior section!!! Because you know what??? If I can fit in it, that means it was meant for me.
I finished Marion Harland's guide tonight and I wonder ceaselessly at two things. 1. She is so down on America! Even more than I am. She complains of things in which I am so well-steeped I could not see them for what they were. In particular, American style and cookery. It is true that our food, which we count as so much more generous in portion than the overseas counterpart, is as coarse and indecorous as it is plentiful, but as an American woman I cast up my hands and declare I would rather spend my time on something else. She makes an interesting point about American women's fashions. In France women wear what looks good on them, and in America women wears what comes off the manufacturing line in the latest style. It is very conformist, and I have to admit I feel it in myself, for I would be embarrassed to wear something that is "out" even if it flattered me better. 2. Harland's other point I feel clearly from last night's experiences. I looked in my journ...