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Changes

I decided to leave the group. I spend this time updating the web site, I can't keep up with the demand, and I get nothing from the group. I feel stressed about it: I really hate quitting like this, but groups never work out for me anyway. They are like businesses. They become weighted down with protocol and waste time.

Another thing bothering me is another negative fiction review. I don't understand. Were they gay? How could he be gay and feel desire for Jenny? I wonder if there are people that truly have never heard of bisexuality. They don't like my story once they reach the last chapter. It makes me so angry. It makes me feel really passionate about my story. On the way to work, I thought of writing my story all over again with a much greater emphasis on Charles, whom I truly love. I want readers to see what I see, because I think if they do, they will feel what I feel. Isn't that what we as writers ultimately want? For other people to feel what we feel, if only for a little while?

I decided to make a work blog. I have so many things to do every day, and I can't use any of those Microsoft tools: none of them allow for free-flow thinking combined with the date like a blog can.

I'm at Summer Party right now. I forgot to mention it. I am having bubble tea and rice shao mai for lunch. I am maintaining my weight, stuck at 124.5. It's funny, though. Every time I look at myself, I feel like I look thinner. Maybe it's psychological. Oh, well. I am proving to myself that I can lose weight, but you know, you do have to suffer to do it.

My health teacher in college said that you must burn more calories than you consume to lose weight. It's the only way, and I don't think there's a way to do that without suffering.

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