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The window

This will have to be written on breaks. I've just finished my oatmeal and only have five minutes to write.

I want to change my life, and I feel like my major inspiration is the journal of someone with whom I have nothing in common (?) except enthusiasm and desire. I realized today I have been following her journal for three years now, learning about the art world, creativity. I feel like I have been looking at it through a window for so long, just standing in front of the window, watching, and only now with the dawning realization that I want to look for the door inside.

I don't know how to do what I want to do, and I have so many different things I want to do, I don't know how I will do any of them. All I know is that when I come home, I am so tired. I want to think about this more deeply, prioritize, visualize. I feel like the answer is there. Like the parameters I spent the last couple of days fiddling with. It's in there somewhere. I just have to keep looking.

Well, that's all, and that's in one sitting. I don't know how to do what I have to do today, and I have so many other things, too.

Next I'm going to list out all the things I want to do, and put them in priority.

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