Skip to main content

Perfectionist

Why does it take me an hour to do one thing?

I didn't cross a single item from my to-do list, and in nine minutes I have to go home to make beef pie.

Speaking of perfectionism, I have spent eight years perfecting this recipe.

Amanda's Beef Pie

  • One pound of organic ground beef
  • Nilla wafer pie crust
  • Cheddar slices
  • Beef broth (I use the kind from a box that pours)

Preheat oven according to your pie crust directions. Brown ground beef in a pan, scoop into pie crust with a slotted spoon, draining fat. Don't pre-cook the pie crust. It gets too brown at the edges. Pour beef broth over the ground beef, enough to moisten it thoroughly, not drown. Spread cheddar slices over the top of the pie. Bake for around fifteen minutes, until the pie crust is brown and cheese is melted. It's much better on the reheat, nice and solid.

Things I want to do in my life

  • Become a web designer
  • Publish my writing
  • Become a seamstress
  • Learn to play the erhu

Only four things? I guess so. But to me, those four things are so hard. They require a lot of energy and discipline, especially after a day of work. If I have any new year's resolution it will be to resolve that somehow.

I was so anxious about work today. I didn't know how I was going to titrate my sample. I did it! I only had to ask for help four times. I did 97% of it all by myself. My sample was just exactly the same number as the time zero. Wow. I can't believe I care. I've really got to do something.

Popular posts from this blog

Studying with Dolls

In the afternoons, I usually take my laptop or a book to the bed and study, and a doll for company. Gertrude is sitting on my bed desk. I got her in 2015 from the Korean doll company Dollmore. She's a "Flocke" sculpt. Willow is sitting with my headphones. She's made by the Chinese company Angel of Dream. I got her in 2013. She's a "Qing" sculpt.

Love oneself

I have found a new barometer by which to judge my actions, or rather, it is an involuntary barometer that is improving me perhaps without my say. For every weak thing I do or begin to do, I ask myself if I would admire myself for it. I have felt so critical of myself lately, so ugly, so awful, and out of it has sprung this quest to improve myself. I don't want to become a slave to style magazines; rather, I could not admire myself for doing that. At the same time, I want to look right and decent and keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like my hygeine is always falling short, just like the housework. Every time I turn around, there's hair where hair shouldn't be, there's stuff under my toenails, my tee shirts are shrinking up and showing my stomach; to say nothing of my wildly oxidizing jewelry, scuffed shoes, &c. I don't understand why I don't see anyone else with these problems! Do they spend all their time at home cleaning their jewelry and ironing their

Then, they let Margot out.

Work is going to be really tough for the next month and a half. There is really no margin for error in the goal I have set. I will have to make and run at least one sample, sometimes two, every day. I am going to have to work overtime in the beginning just to leave myself a little room. Long ago I read this story about people who colonized Venus. The storms cleared, the sun shone, and plants grew only one day every hundred years. On the day the sun was to come out some children locked the nerd (I'm sure that would be me) in the closet, and after the day was over, they let her out. That is how I felt yesterday. I could only get a table far in Starbucks, so I didn't know what the weather was doing. I had planned to shop for my spring wardrobe and I did that very well. It took two hours, which is really a lot less than it would take in person, and the things I got were very much to my taste, but I stepped out into warmth, sunshine, and balmy air, and there was only an hour left in