Skip to main content

Fort Worth?

Honestly I question if I should be in Fort Worth or even Texas. I don't think I will ever find kindred spirits here. And I am so tired of other people's conformist attitudes. I know I am mostly mad now about the second man to trespass on my land and act like it was more his than mine. But I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now.

Who would I be if I lived elsewhere and could branch out? I admit I hate reactions to my differentness so much that I hide myself, but the logical side of it is I have already tried, it is not worth it to try to get others to accept me for myself. The only situations are when they have to live with me on a regular basis, like at work, and they just have no reaction to me after a while.

What if I cast a circle in the middle of the field in broad daylight? Do I really think someone else will start shouting at me or worse? Yes, I really do. It is not paranoia but a logical conclusion from the characters I have picked up on. So should I do it or what?

I am struggling with questions and boundaries and I think I should. I am sweeping back into this need to rebell and express, to break free and apart.

I am going to decide what I want to do and do it, and see what reaction I get. I do not really want to turn into an activist for weird people though. It just wouldn't be worth it somewhere like this.

Popular posts from this blog

Love oneself

I have found a new barometer by which to judge my actions, or rather, it is an involuntary barometer that is improving me perhaps without my say. For every weak thing I do or begin to do, I ask myself if I would admire myself for it. I have felt so critical of myself lately, so ugly, so awful, and out of it has sprung this quest to improve myself. I don't want to become a slave to style magazines; rather, I could not admire myself for doing that. At the same time, I want to look right and decent and keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like my hygeine is always falling short, just like the housework. Every time I turn around, there's hair where hair shouldn't be, there's stuff under my toenails, my tee shirts are shrinking up and showing my stomach; to say nothing of my wildly oxidizing jewelry, scuffed shoes, &c. I don't understand why I don't see anyone else with these problems! Do they spend all their time at home cleaning their jewelry and ironing their
more &

Elmer M. Oliver Nature Park

 
more &

Studying with Dolls

In the afternoons, I usually take my laptop or a book to the bed and study, and a doll for company. Gertrude is sitting on my bed desk. I got her in 2015 from the Korean doll company Dollmore. She's a "Flocke" sculpt. Willow is sitting with my headphones. She's made by the Chinese company Angel of Dream. I got her in 2013. She's a "Qing" sculpt.
more &