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Some remarks

I do believe that one can always control the volume and pitch of one's sneeze to a certain degree. I've never heard anyone else say it, but I do think so.

Last night I cleaned out my sewing room, which is likely the most disturbingly disorganized mess I've made, and I found my blue journal. I was so excited. My last entry was 10/12. I believe I lost it for that long. The fact is I remember several weeks ago when I was rummaging for some craft supplies I had stacked a great deal of mess on my desk. It all collapsed to the side, taking my journal along. I never cleaned up the mess - I have no good explanation, but I remember feeling discouraged when it happened. I have felt very overwhelmed about that room, and last night I finally found the energy to give it a try.

I also discovered a host of insect shells and webs beneath my desk. It would seem someone has been very busy in my absence. I will admit I often see spiders in my sewing room - and I ignore them. If no one told me I wasn't supposed to like them there, I would like them there.

In addition to finding my journal I found the will to take my deer cardigan cross stitch back up again. I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. this morning and felt great, did some work on the cardigan and also did some research on the natural kei/mori style.

I am a little slow, but I am catching on to the fact that all these Japanese style, designated by "kei" are related to a musical movement. As a matter of fact, mori "forest" style is related to shoegaze music. I don't like the music, but now that I have found the clothes I may take my Tearwave album back out. The album art at least is exactly how I think of natural kei.

My other interest, fairy kei, is related I do believe to electropop and something else, I'm missing the word - but it is a musical movement I like - and also of course 1980's pop - that's the heart of the movement.

As for gothic lolita, well, I must admit I am not connected to Mana as a musician or as a stylist. I'm sorry, I know. That's why I don't post to the communities. The whole concept of any of these "kei" styles is extreme, like a drag queen, and often wearing lolita you will look like a drag queen. But Mana is, literally, a drag queen. I have never heard anyone say that before - man, I'm full of original ideas today - but yes, I'm sorry. He's a drag queen. I don't think he looks like a beautiful woman, like many gothic lolitas do. I think he looks exactly like a man dressed like a woman. He has a man's face. I'm sorry. He's a man.

Wow. Anyway, last night I also made a drawer in the upstairs room (that's where I like to do it, I don't know why) to store my jewelry-making supplies. I am almost done with my re-made black choker. It looks exactly how I wanted it to look.

I have so many more plans and ideas. I'm trying to hold back and not buy a lot of stuff, fix up what I have. The book I happened to find at Half Price Books in that clearance kit is really wonderful. The techniques, the styles, the way it was shown and explained, I caught on to it immediately. I usually have a really hard time translating mechanical instructions to real life, but I caught on to this in a big way, and it has changed . well . how I spend most of my time.

Well . sorry for going on for so long. I am trying to organize myself right now, feel overwhelmed by this and the holidays coming up - this voice in my head says, it must be perfect! - everything I think of Christmas, and I can feel my very bone marrow tighten up when I think about it.

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