Skip to main content

Some remarks

I do believe that one can always control the volume and pitch of one's sneeze to a certain degree. I've never heard anyone else say it, but I do think so.

Last night I cleaned out my sewing room, which is likely the most disturbingly disorganized mess I've made, and I found my blue journal. I was so excited. My last entry was 10/12. I believe I lost it for that long. The fact is I remember several weeks ago when I was rummaging for some craft supplies I had stacked a great deal of mess on my desk. It all collapsed to the side, taking my journal along. I never cleaned up the mess - I have no good explanation, but I remember feeling discouraged when it happened. I have felt very overwhelmed about that room, and last night I finally found the energy to give it a try.

I also discovered a host of insect shells and webs beneath my desk. It would seem someone has been very busy in my absence. I will admit I often see spiders in my sewing room - and I ignore them. If no one told me I wasn't supposed to like them there, I would like them there.

In addition to finding my journal I found the will to take my deer cardigan cross stitch back up again. I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. this morning and felt great, did some work on the cardigan and also did some research on the natural kei/mori style.

I am a little slow, but I am catching on to the fact that all these Japanese style, designated by "kei" are related to a musical movement. As a matter of fact, mori "forest" style is related to shoegaze music. I don't like the music, but now that I have found the clothes I may take my Tearwave album back out. The album art at least is exactly how I think of natural kei.

My other interest, fairy kei, is related I do believe to electropop and something else, I'm missing the word - but it is a musical movement I like - and also of course 1980's pop - that's the heart of the movement.

As for gothic lolita, well, I must admit I am not connected to Mana as a musician or as a stylist. I'm sorry, I know. That's why I don't post to the communities. The whole concept of any of these "kei" styles is extreme, like a drag queen, and often wearing lolita you will look like a drag queen. But Mana is, literally, a drag queen. I have never heard anyone say that before - man, I'm full of original ideas today - but yes, I'm sorry. He's a drag queen. I don't think he looks like a beautiful woman, like many gothic lolitas do. I think he looks exactly like a man dressed like a woman. He has a man's face. I'm sorry. He's a man.

Wow. Anyway, last night I also made a drawer in the upstairs room (that's where I like to do it, I don't know why) to store my jewelry-making supplies. I am almost done with my re-made black choker. It looks exactly how I wanted it to look.

I have so many more plans and ideas. I'm trying to hold back and not buy a lot of stuff, fix up what I have. The book I happened to find at Half Price Books in that clearance kit is really wonderful. The techniques, the styles, the way it was shown and explained, I caught on to it immediately. I usually have a really hard time translating mechanical instructions to real life, but I caught on to this in a big way, and it has changed . well . how I spend most of my time.

Well . sorry for going on for so long. I am trying to organize myself right now, feel overwhelmed by this and the holidays coming up - this voice in my head says, it must be perfect! - everything I think of Christmas, and I can feel my very bone marrow tighten up when I think about it.

Popular posts from this blog

Love oneself

I have found a new barometer by which to judge my actions, or rather, it is an involuntary barometer that is improving me perhaps without my say. For every weak thing I do or begin to do, I ask myself if I would admire myself for it. I have felt so critical of myself lately, so ugly, so awful, and out of it has sprung this quest to improve myself. I don't want to become a slave to style magazines; rather, I could not admire myself for doing that. At the same time, I want to look right and decent and keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like my hygeine is always falling short, just like the housework. Every time I turn around, there's hair where hair shouldn't be, there's stuff under my toenails, my tee shirts are shrinking up and showing my stomach; to say nothing of my wildly oxidizing jewelry, scuffed shoes, &c. I don't understand why I don't see anyone else with these problems! Do they spend all their time at home cleaning their jewelry and ironing their

Cocoa rose

My first cocoa rose bloomed today. There are many more buds opening up, and soon we will have some cuttings.

Then, they let Margot out.

Work is going to be really tough for the next month and a half. There is really no margin for error in the goal I have set. I will have to make and run at least one sample, sometimes two, every day. I am going to have to work overtime in the beginning just to leave myself a little room. Long ago I read this story about people who colonized Venus. The storms cleared, the sun shone, and plants grew only one day every hundred years. On the day the sun was to come out some children locked the nerd (I'm sure that would be me) in the closet, and after the day was over, they let her out. That is how I felt yesterday. I could only get a table far in Starbucks, so I didn't know what the weather was doing. I had planned to shop for my spring wardrobe and I did that very well. It took two hours, which is really a lot less than it would take in person, and the things I got were very much to my taste, but I stepped out into warmth, sunshine, and balmy air, and there was only an hour left in