Last night I dreamed so many things! I just remembered another one. I dreamed I made a life-size doll of cloth and stuffing using Venus Dodge's methods, articulating the fingers, and dressing her in Victorian/Southern belle clothing. It was so amazing I almost want to do it, especially if I could make a costume on a grand scale. Maybe I would do 2 or 3 feet tall instead of 5 or 6.
I have found a new barometer by which to judge my actions, or rather, it is an involuntary barometer that is improving me perhaps without my say. For every weak thing I do or begin to do, I ask myself if I would admire myself for it. I have felt so critical of myself lately, so ugly, so awful, and out of it has sprung this quest to improve myself. I don't want to become a slave to style magazines; rather, I could not admire myself for doing that. At the same time, I want to look right and decent and keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like my hygeine is always falling short, just like the housework. Every time I turn around, there's hair where hair shouldn't be, there's stuff under my toenails, my tee shirts are shrinking up and showing my stomach; to say nothing of my wildly oxidizing jewelry, scuffed shoes, &c. I don't understand why I don't see anyone else with these problems! Do they spend all their time at home cleaning their jewelry and ironing their