Skip to main content

Can I turn it off now

Can I turn off this mind that's always figuring
Can I quit being interested in every word that's spoken, every bit, every piece, every clue about every human being
Can I stop being obsessed with what it all means
What this part means and this part
It has gotten to the point where I can't be offended by anything anymore because I'm caught up in the cultural ramifications
I can't be interested in anything because I am obsessed with why I am interested
Asking me to fill out an about me and I can just put a <3

Actually that's not true, I am just going through this change
This deep figuring
I thought about deleting this blog weeks ago and all of a sudden I can't stop posting

I am interested in plenty of stuff
I am obsessed with YouTube people
Blogging people
Etsy people
An artist, a musician
I have no idea who famous people are any more
Screen name people are a common subject at my dinner table

I read an interesting article about Gen Y, actually it grouped me in with them, while Strauss and Howe don't, don't agree with all of it, it seems like every time I read real published news it's obviously exaggerated or slanted and I am repelled. I don't know why I was so intimidated about being a real journalist, they need smart, discerning people who can write well.

I share some characteristics with X and some Y, really 50/50. The Y work ethic, I don't quite have that. I like it, but I have the X mentality of never feeling like I can do better, and I better do as well as I can if I want to even survive. Asking my company for a nap room, that's amusing, but my concern is survival, physically and emotionally.

Popular posts from this blog

Love oneself

I have found a new barometer by which to judge my actions, or rather, it is an involuntary barometer that is improving me perhaps without my say. For every weak thing I do or begin to do, I ask myself if I would admire myself for it. I have felt so critical of myself lately, so ugly, so awful, and out of it has sprung this quest to improve myself. I don't want to become a slave to style magazines; rather, I could not admire myself for doing that. At the same time, I want to look right and decent and keep from embarrassing myself. I feel like my hygeine is always falling short, just like the housework. Every time I turn around, there's hair where hair shouldn't be, there's stuff under my toenails, my tee shirts are shrinking up and showing my stomach; to say nothing of my wildly oxidizing jewelry, scuffed shoes, &c. I don't understand why I don't see anyone else with these problems! Do they spend all their time at home cleaning their jewelry and ironing their

Studying with Dolls

In the afternoons, I usually take my laptop or a book to the bed and study, and a doll for company. Gertrude is sitting on my bed desk. I got her in 2015 from the Korean doll company Dollmore. She's a "Flocke" sculpt. Willow is sitting with my headphones. She's made by the Chinese company Angel of Dream. I got her in 2013. She's a "Qing" sculpt.

Then, they let Margot out.

Work is going to be really tough for the next month and a half. There is really no margin for error in the goal I have set. I will have to make and run at least one sample, sometimes two, every day. I am going to have to work overtime in the beginning just to leave myself a little room. Long ago I read this story about people who colonized Venus. The storms cleared, the sun shone, and plants grew only one day every hundred years. On the day the sun was to come out some children locked the nerd (I'm sure that would be me) in the closet, and after the day was over, they let her out. That is how I felt yesterday. I could only get a table far in Starbucks, so I didn't know what the weather was doing. I had planned to shop for my spring wardrobe and I did that very well. It took two hours, which is really a lot less than it would take in person, and the things I got were very much to my taste, but I stepped out into warmth, sunshine, and balmy air, and there was only an hour left in